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Thursday, February 23, 2012
My tears are flowing when browsing Syidiq's photos.
Idk why but it just did.
When i looked at luqhman's photo, it brings me more tears . Yknw i met him up yesterday and told him about how much i love diq and he kept advicing me to go for it. "Now or never."
I wanted to just go for it.
I was kind of reluctant as i dont want to make myself look some kind of a desperado and make a big fool of myself but luqh keep asking me to try to put in the effort. "It's not about how long you've been with him. It's about the effort." , he said.I was suprised when Luqh said he knows that i don't really love syimir. He said he knew it even from 2 years back. He just kept quiet all along. He was.. right. Then again, i dont wanna to go aft diq if he didnt even look at me in the 1st place. I dont even know if it's worth it. I just want allah to show me the signs. That's all.
But then, i remembered syimir. I dont bear to make him hurt once more . I mean i love syimir but i love syidiq more.
Yknw what i mean? it's never my intention to love someone else but it had always been syidiq.
I tried looking at syimir's eyes and find where's my love for him but sadly i couldn't.
I know syimir love me. alot.
But i love someone else but th fact that i still care for syimir, i'm willing to not come after syidiq.
I dont wanna be selfish. They say to love is to sacrifice.
Idk.
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10:47 PM
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Monday, February 13, 2012
I know whatever i'm feeling now is ridiculous and so wrong.
How could i love someone else when i'm with someone. Get it?
But, even after 3 years, i feel like i couldn't love Syimir like how i loved you 3 years back.
I still... love you. Yes. Nur Asyidiq, i still love you. Everyday.
I've tried to forget you and pushed away all my feelings away for you but,
everywhere i went, i remember you. Its you that i see.
You gave me too much to remember.
Remember i said that you were my first for everything?
Yeah. Probably that's the reason why i can't move on.
i don't care if you love someone else and if i were to be w someone else but i REALLYYYYYYYYYYY love you.
I LOVE YOU. I'M SORRY:(
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4:43 AM
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Sunday, January 1, 2012
hai.. untuk sekian lamanya saya di sini semula. Saya di sini untuk melepaskan frust saya terhadap apa yang sedang saya rasai.
Pertama, mak saya.
ish.. selalu buat saya bingit. asyik2 nak membebel saja. tak pernah diam. adui, tk penat ke? saya guna laptop tak smpai 5 minit dh membebel.
kedua,
Syimir.
Hais. this guy. i've been w him for 2 years ++ . Semakin hari, semakin lambat untuk dia balas mesej saya.
Ntahlah, main kayu tiga kut.. atau cinta mula berpadam? wallahuallam.
saya pun tidak begitu pasti. Kadang-kala, dia amat sweet tapi .. ntahlah.
Kadangkala, hati mahu menangis sekuat-kuatnya tapi.. apalah dayaku. Saya hanya mampu berdiam.
Tidak ada gunanya untuk memberitahunya apa hati rasakan jadi saya hanya simpan segala keperitan di dlm kalbu.
Alangkah indahnya jikalau setiap hari aku di menyelebungi cahaya kebahagiaan.
Tapi, hidup ini bagai roda yang berputar . adakala aku di bawa, adakalanya aku di atas.
Aku hanya redha. Adakah cinta ini akan membawa kita jinjing pelamin atau ia akan lupus di hari yang akan dtg?
wallahualam.
Aku hanya boleh berdoa dan redha.
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7:19 AM
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Friday, August 26, 2011
Please don't take me far away from him. :(
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3:15 AM
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Monday, August 15, 2011
I feel so stupid most of the time thinking back about the betrayal thingy.
I wanted so much to smash a piece of glass on your face. On hers.
It makes me insane, everyday.
But, what do you know?
You see me smiling everyday but you don't know me.
You never know me.
You'll never know me.
The trust is hard to gain back.
And, most of the time, i felt like a fool.
You've never opened up and tell me what's hidden in your heart and i always wonder everyday. What am i to you?
FUCK THE SHITXZ. _!_
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9:51 PM
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Saturday, August 13, 2011
Today.
Me and sayang went to terawih.
After terawih, i was in a bad mood cos i was super pissed that the imam recite long prayers and he recite it effing slow!
i felt like i could collapse anytime cause i was so worn out.
I guess my boyfriend was very cute and sweet.
He look at me and say " nak i belikan cookie?"
So, i just nod.
and, he bought my fav cookies at 7 eleven.
So, i happily ate it like budak gemuk.
He really knows how to make me happy.
Ilovehim. <3
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8:14 AM
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Friday, August 12, 2011
Suddenly, im sooooo addicted in couple rings.
I guess it is very sweet.
I made a promise to myself that whoever that gave me a couple ring, he will be the guy i will marry cause somehow, in my own perspective, when a guy gives a ring to a girl, it means he is serious.
WHOA.
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8:42 AM
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