Because when the chemical stays , a new story will start .

2012-01-01T07:19:00.000-08:00

hai.. untuk sekian lamanya saya di sini semula. Saya di sini untuk melepaskan frust saya terhadap apa yang sedang saya rasai.

Pertama, mak saya.
ish.. selalu buat saya bingit. asyik2 nak membebel saja. tak pernah diam. adui, tk penat ke? saya guna laptop tak smpai 5 minit dh membebel.

kedua,
Syimir.

Hais. this guy. i've been w him for 2 years ++ . Semakin hari, semakin lambat untuk dia balas mesej saya.
Ntahlah, main kayu tiga kut.. atau cinta mula berpadam? wallahuallam.
saya pun tidak begitu pasti. Kadang-kala, dia amat sweet tapi .. ntahlah.
Kadangkala, hati mahu menangis sekuat-kuatnya tapi.. apalah dayaku. Saya hanya mampu berdiam.
Tidak ada gunanya untuk memberitahunya apa hati rasakan jadi saya hanya simpan segala keperitan di dlm kalbu.
Alangkah indahnya jikalau setiap hari aku di menyelebungi cahaya kebahagiaan.
Tapi, hidup ini bagai roda yang berputar . adakala aku di bawa, adakalanya aku di atas.
Aku hanya redha. Adakah cinta ini akan membawa kita jinjing pelamin atau ia akan lupus di hari yang akan dtg?
wallahualam.
Aku hanya boleh berdoa dan redha.

2011-08-26T03:15:00.000-07:00

Please don't take me far away from him. :(

2011-08-15T21:51:00.000-07:00

I feel so stupid most of the time thinking back about the betrayal thingy.
I wanted so much to smash a piece of glass on your face. On hers.
It makes me insane, everyday.
But, what do you know?
You see me smiling everyday but you don't know me.
You never know me.
You'll never know me.
The trust is hard to gain back.
And, most of the time, i felt like a fool.
You've never opened up and tell me what's hidden in your heart and i always wonder everyday. What am i to you?

FUCK THE SHITXZ. _!_

2011-08-13T08:14:00.000-07:00

Today.
Me and sayang went to terawih.
After terawih, i was in a bad mood cos i was super pissed that the imam recite long prayers and he recite it effing slow!
i felt like i could collapse anytime cause i was so worn out.
I guess my boyfriend was very cute and sweet.
He look at me and say " nak i belikan cookie?"

So, i just nod.
and, he bought my fav cookies at 7 eleven.
So, i happily ate it like budak gemuk.

He really knows how to make me happy.
Ilovehim. <3

2011-08-12T08:42:00.000-07:00

Suddenly, im sooooo addicted in couple rings.
I guess it is very sweet.

I made a promise to myself that whoever that gave me a couple ring, he will be the guy i will marry cause somehow, in my own perspective, when a guy gives a ring to a girl, it means he is serious.
WHOA.

2011-08-06T08:22:00.001-07:00

if next time, you were to have no time for me, i won't say a word nor would i complain.
But, if you need me, don't expect me to be there cause i won't.

2011-08-05T03:23:00.000-07:00

I slept one night with you.
I hold you close and inhale your presence.
I fell deeply into a sleep w all your love around me.
I was glad that eventhough you are not mine, i had one special night w you
cause after a long run of having marathon nightmares, i slept peacefully within your embrace.

Someday you'll know, that I was the one for you.

2011-08-03T05:47:00.000-07:00

It's been 2 years and i'm missing you. So much that it kills sometimes.

2011-07-26T06:09:00.000-07:00

I've just returned home from Mcdonald.
Went to study w love.
Gosh, im tired.
I'm starting to miss him already eventhough it's been few minutes when i last met him.

:( :) :( :( :) ((((: :))))))))

I MISS YOU<3

2011-07-25T06:14:00.001-07:00

I've been feeling wanting to vomit. From morning seh.
And, im not pregnant k.
I'm still a virgin.
I guess im sick.
hhais~

2011-07-25T04:14:00.000-07:00

I don't get some people.
Misunderstood things so easily.
Saying which one i want. Syimir or Syazwan.
TROLOLOLOL.

It's obvious it would be Syimir what.
Me and wan are just FRIENDS.
He is nothing to me. Used to. But, no more.
Besides, if i were still confused on who i wanna choose,
i would still be single.
I stopped loving Syazwan cause i know,
there's no use loving someone who can't be w me what.
Besides, i also don't want.
And, I guess he is in love w a girl name Sarah.
So fuck yeah~ i also dont care.

So please, stop being so pathetic -_-

2011-07-24T01:54:00.001-07:00

Currently have stomach cramp due to menses.
How i wish,
my boyfriend is here w me. Beside me.
I want huggggggggggg cuddle cuddle.
k dah bye!

2011-07-23T06:55:00.000-07:00

As i hear the melody of your voice in my computer,
my heart began to sink.
Now that i'm attached, i no matte what, have to forget you.
And not to mention your name in front of my boyfriend .

From yesterday, i don't know why, my heart feels so sad when i look at you even if my feelings for you are gone.
Like just now, when we both accidentally look at each other at the same time, i quickly look away.
I don't want . I just can't .

And, today, i dreamt of you while im sleeping .
Hais .
Nvm .
I hope you won't change and always be my close friend .
I miss you.

2011-07-23T04:26:00.001-07:00

I love you, syimir.
That's all that matters.
Meowwww~

2011-07-20T05:50:00.001-07:00

What if i were to love you ?
What if i want to be w you ?
What if it never come true ?
What if you we are not meant to be ?
What if i ..

2011-07-19T06:07:00.001-07:00

It is so hard to stop loving you after almost two years together.
I cried in class all of a sudden just now because..
I miss the OLD you.'
You freaking change.
Hais.
Fuck.
Feel like crying again.

2011-07-18T05:25:00.003-07:00

suddenly, i miss syimir and i feel like crying.
But no, he is not mine. No . No

2011-07-18T05:25:00.001-07:00

suddenly, i miss syimir and i feel like crying.
But no, he is not mine. No . No

2011-07-17T08:42:00.001-07:00

Imagine when you are bored doing your coursework and a friend of yours send you something through MSN.
You accept and you open the file and suddenly you hear strumming of guitar and that friend of yours sang a song that is very meaningful to you.

OMG. syiok ah!

2011-07-17T05:46:00.000-07:00

I wish you were mine and I was yours.
I always wished that.
I hope for a miracle that one day, that day, will come.

2011-07-16T03:51:00.001-07:00

Camp was nice.
being w my squadmates makes me really happy.
And, especially when the person you love is around you.
Syiok ah!

I skipped k ?
Yesterday at night,
I was fast asleep in the canteen around 1.00 am plus?
Then, night was so effing cold w the winds.
I woke up around 225am.
I wrap myself around w my towel. Still, fucking cold.
I was restless.
I sat on the chair.
I heard my squadmates still having fun.
HE was not asleep.

At that point of time,
I wanted someone to come to me .
Then, i felt someone touching my shoulder.
Turn around, it was HIM.
I told him that i was cold.
So, he took a towel from his bag and put over me.

He sat beside me.
He kissed me and start tepuk2 my pantat.
Sweet man.
I nearly fall asleep.

Then, he went to a chair beside me and he lied down there.
I woke up . Again .
It was very cold .
He went to me.
Rub2 my arms.
Then, i slept.
He went back to his chair.

Then, i woke up. I cried cos i felt sooo sick.
He look at me.
Went to me again.
He took out his sleeping bag and i slept inside it.

Luckily, i managed to fall asleep.

That night,
I fell in love . No . I mean , fell even more.
For him .
For who ?
For MUHD SYIMIR BIN SULAIMAN.

He is just so sweet and there's nothing else i could ask for except for his love.

Hey syimir,
I love you .

2011-07-14T07:43:00.000-07:00

Fucker. You always get into my way sia.
Fuck off larh _!_ -_-

2011-07-13T06:34:00.000-07:00

I feel so sad, fooled.
I don't get why must i take care of other's feelings when im actually single and free to be around.
I don't belong to anybody except god. But again, i have to pretend that i care. It irks me. Alot.
I feel so horrible miserable vegetable. Rimas .
I hate being controlled. Seriously. Guys should fuck off and die~ -_-

And, like seriously i have no feelings right now.
Not for anyone.
And people should stop being so annoying .
When i say i don't like that person alr, means i don't like ah.
Stop asking me like " are you sure?"
I'm sure that's why i say ah fucker -_-
Stupid sia.

2011-07-12T04:58:00.000-07:00

Today, this morning before i went to school, i've made up my mind not to ever look at him and talk to him again cause i wanna forget him. Then, he talked to me-_- alamak nabeyy -_-
Why sia. always like that. Sickening man. Damn~
Nvm, i shall try again tomorrow. I feel like banishing every guy in my life alr cos i fucking don't care.
Im interested in N level only.

2011-07-12T03:48:00.000-07:00

Fucker.
I really dislike myself so much.
Like seriously, i really need to stop pretending to smile, laugh when deep inside...
K .
Seriously Lyana. Stop it. Hate it, girl.
If u want to ___ , just ___ lah sia. why keep inside man?! stupid sia lyana.

2011-07-11T03:59:00.000-07:00

I stop. Look. Sigh. Turn away. Let go. Hold back. Hold back. Hold back. Forget. Move on.

2011-07-09T22:53:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, someone confessed to me that he like me .
Im so confused right now . Hais .

2011-07-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

You told me about fate. Yes, i believed in fate. Yes, maybe we are not together now but maybe in the future.
So all i can do is pray and hope for the best . hais~

2011-07-06T03:49:00.001-07:00

:( i miss yooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu so badlyy . im gonna hug you . i dont care .

2011-07-05T03:06:00.000-07:00

I hate Muhd Syimir Bin Sulaiman so much.
im crying now it is just so hurting . very hurting .
Fuck him for making me cry in public .
I know me and him are not together but just now.. i told him to wait for me after fnn cos i want time w him.
well, he said "okay" .
So, aft fnn i texted him.
He said he was at kfc at swimiing complex there w HIS FRIENDS.
BUTO KAN ?
TAK HABIS HABIS KAWAN KAWAN KAWAN .
PADAHAL SMLM DIA GADUH DGN ZAHIR SMPAI NGS2 MACAM JANTAN CENGENG . I WAS THERE FOR HIM , MAN .
CHIBAI KANINA BUTO AH SIAL .
BODOH

2011-07-02T19:44:00.001-07:00

MAYBE IT DOESN'T MEANT ANYTHING TO YOU ANYMORE, MAYBE IT NEVER DID.
bUT IT MEANT ALOT TO ME. YOU MEANT ALOT TO ME - AND STILL IS .

2011-07-02T07:44:00.001-07:00

I don't know wether to cry or what but it's so painful.
But i keep telling myself "jealousy is a wasted emotion and that i won't ever cry."
And here i am, standing strong .
Never gonna shed a tear for a guy . No . No way .

2011-07-01T07:53:00.000-07:00

i love my parents. My mum especially.
She put away the pain and make me happy.
I dont care if im single and no guy to love cause i know all i need is my parents (:

2011-06-30T04:08:00.001-07:00

I'm back to solo life .
Anw, its alright. Love can wait. N level can't .
I'm sucha busy girl with packed schedules everyday . Even on weekends .
Guess i can't stay commited on relationship .
So i shall try to push aside my feelings for the people that i love .
Love will lead me to that someone(idk who) someday .
For now, i'll follow the flow .
So stress on coursework .
Can't handle , man .

I'm gonna start studying . going courseworking now .

2011-06-29T10:33:00.000-07:00

Its 1.33am .
Im awake.
ok.

Syimir, can't believe u were reading my blog all these while.
I got too many things to say but i dont wanna start being so dissapointed and sad.
I guess for now, enough is enough.
tired of everything.

2011-06-29T03:57:00.000-07:00

I feel super sleepy man.
Today got MT remedial aft that got coursework.
Gosh. Tired .
Aft maghrib, im sure gonna sleep all the way till tomorrow .

I feel happy.
Something happened in class.
I was sitting alone reading my storybook suddenly i felt someone touching my shoulder. I turned and it was him and he gave me a big smile.
At that point of time, i swear i was shocked. I thought i was just day dreaming . But , it was real . It was him .
So, i went home and him a message why he did that and he said that was a sign for him to show that he forgave me.
Aww .

2011-06-28T08:34:00.001-07:00

I can't believe i did maths . hehe .
Anw, i have found a new maths partner to study with . He is zahir ~~
I swear he's smart .
And yeah i like .

Anw, i don't like rohana . kecoh sia that teacher . You think what ? Npcc pe nak kena pekik2 ?
HEH .

I don't know why i suddenly feel very rindu gila babi when ____________ talk to me .
iT'S LIKE LONG TIME ALR SIA .
anw, im not talking about wan .

2011-06-27T05:30:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry for falling in love with you, Wan .
I didn't mean to . Omg . Can't believe im apologizing for falling in love .
I dreamt about you , again .
I kept looking at your eyelashes . super long sia . Anw , that's in my dream .
But just now in class , i look at it . Not bad, huh . nice lashes you've got there .

Know what ?
NOTHING .
Hais ~

WE WILL BE TOGETHER .

2011-06-25T23:23:00.001-07:00

Today, i dreamt about him . again .

2011-06-25T08:40:00.000-07:00

The other time, i did facial.
Tday, i did body massage .
I felt like calling the police cos i felt like im being raped.
The massager did full body massage for me and she massage my ass.
OMG.
And now,
i feel so tired .
hehe .
Omg. i can't wait for school .
Actually, it's because of ONE thing.

I MISS YOU. SO MUCH. GOD DAMN IT . I REALLY DO .

2011-06-24T06:17:00.000-07:00

No matter how much you hate or act as if you don't know me, i will still come back to you like a boomerang cause boy, without your presence in my life, i feel incomplete.
ILOVEYOU~!!!

2011-06-22T21:49:00.000-07:00

Ok. I really have to write down everything. What i feel cause I really have no one to turn to. Well, i don't need anyone actually cause neither 1 will understand.
Here it goes.

SYAZWAN ROSLI ;
I've been dreeaming of you each time i sleep. It's continuous night. I don't know why. In my dream, you and me were always close. We would talk to each other and smile. But, I was also trying to get near to you. I felt elated to think that we are good again but when i woke up, it was just a dream. Of course i cried. You know what? I've had 5 times nightmare too. I suddenly woke up in the middle of the night and i shouted YOUR NAME . And my hand was trying to reach out to you. That's how much pain i felt since the day you left me .
Everyday, you would always crossed my mind. I JUST DON'T GET WHY .
I don't understand why god have to make me remind me of you, dream of you eventhough HE doesn't even let me get closer to you. But i believe, everything happens for a REASON. Which i may not know now. But, GOD IS GREAT.
It's been 35 days you left me. It's more than a month already. I will still keep counting.
And hey, i still love you. That's one thing i really can't deny. I still look up to the sky and search for the moon. Like you said " Our moon." Yeah .
I MISS YOU . Like my old bestfriend . Like you said again " your best guy friend ."
Yes . There's so many things i wanna share w you. I feel very sad . I lose the guy who understands me, who listens to my fat problems, who always cheer me up, who always advices me and who always make me strong . Hais , god , this is so sad . What a sad sad situation . And , i watched BEASTLY . The movie we were supposed to watch . It reminds me of you . Hah , idk why . I really need you so badly as my bestfriend . Remember when Syimir always do shitty stuff and i was depressed ? you would always comfort me. You were always there. You're not like Syimir . And there was this one night that i will always remember . It's when Syimir betrayed my love and i called you up and kept crying like a mofoka , you manage to make me freaking laugh . haha . You're just weird . There's something about you . And when we fight, you said harsh things . But , i don't believe all you said cos i know that deep inside you , you have a beautiful heart and you're a beautiful guy .
And you're not a jerk.
You're just not . Even if so many people calls you jerk but the truth is, they don't know you .
You have your own problems too . But people just won't understand .
These days, when syimir create shits, you were the one i would think of .
I really need you but you aren't there so i imagine you were beside me, holding me and that's why you are the reason why i'm strong .
There's too many to state down but my hands are tired .
Until the day you would talk to me once more,
I'll be praying and keep praying (:

2011-06-17T08:32:00.000-07:00

Today, played pool with syimir and ahmad. GEREK PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEE .

Dear _____,
I love you.
Like alot. Like obviously . Duh~
At times, i feel so scared to ______ you. It's pain seeing ______________ guys are.
I will end up thinking too much and get a __________ everytime.
All i hope that i was just ________ . It's tough for me . But , i don't have the guts to say what i wanna say to you because everytime when i see you smile, i don't want it to turn into a frown .
I keep hiding from everything . I don't cry myself to sleep .
I keep holding back the tears so as to TRY to make myself stronger .
But everyday , i feel so ________ .
I don't know .
FUCK.

2011-06-17T08:30:00.000-07:00

You don't know how difficult for me to sleep when having nightmares about you 3 times in a row and shouting your name in the middle of the night.
It is killing me. It's like being punch in a heart.
Yes.

2011-06-11T17:08:00.000-07:00

Today, i was supposed to go outing with my npap flah barrers.
Go sentosa.
But then, i didnt wanna go cos ramai tak g.
Then, get msg from sir Saifuddin.
He ask me why i never go.
Then i say cos ramai org tak pergi and he also tak g.
Then, he said he goes because that time i said im going.
AWW. too bad for me. Always the wrong timing seh.

Nvm,
im watching KF2 w qilo and dwo .
So , hellyeah~

2011-06-08T06:37:00.001-07:00

I NEED A PUNCHING BAG .
I FEEL SO DEPRESSED . AGAIN .
I JUST NEED TO CRY IN ANYONE'S ARMS .
I HATE EVERYTHING .
I FEEL SO ..

2011-06-07T22:32:00.001-07:00

Today, i dreamt of him. Twice. hais.

2011-06-06T04:59:00.000-07:00

Angin sampaikanlah berita,
buat dia yang disana..
Kau bisikkan ke telinganya bahawa aku cinta kepadanya..

I LOVE YOU . I USED TO LOVE YOU . I STILL LOVE YOU . ALWAYS LOVING YOU .

2011-06-06T04:09:00.000-07:00

I see you . Called you to be w me , then you go away .
I sat back and think, is this the right thing? Did i do the right decision by going back to you ?
Is this even worth it? can it work ?
Cos , u don't seem to care . I was infront of you like struggling to talk to you.
But you , you act as if you didnt see me .
Thu fuck ?
I waited for you to finish NP , then i realised you don't care .
Dwi told me to give you time to digest .
I went off . Tired of waiting .

Then , you texted me .
Saying you've finished training and you went to meet me .
I felt so awkward w you .
I can't even touch you .
It feels so awkward , like the first time .
I hate everything .

2011-06-04T07:23:00.000-07:00

woah, i lost 4kg siolxz.
But then, i ate mee bakso plus all the nonsense stuff i guess im getting fatter again.
Hehe,
Anw, life is a little happy right now since i've got him in my life. guessss who??
I know you all don't know. haha, k mepek.
I miss him anyway.
It had always been him ^^.

Anyway, meeting Farah tmr cause her cousin needs me to be an actress for her poly project..
CAN'T WAIT XDDDDDDDD

2011-06-02T05:40:00.000-07:00

I LOVE HIM ! I LOVE HIM ! I LOVE HIM !
I WANNA BE WITH HIM BUT , IM SO SCARED TO TELL HIM .
I FEEL LIKE I COULD DIE.
I DON'T HAVE THE CONFIDENCE TO TELL HIM . I FEAR REJECTION . FUCK ,
MY SITUATION IS LIKE SIDDIQ'S . OH GOD . HOW ?~~!

D
EWDNWJHHCBQWJEBDKJEWFB3EWFJHU45JHRYIGKJTRBGFUJNFDHJ

2011-05-31T21:16:00.000-07:00

2011-05-31T19:12:00.000-07:00

2011-05-31T06:34:00.000-07:00

If i were given two choices, to be dead or alive, i will choose DEAD.
What's the point of living when there is no happiness?
Every happiness has been taken or was forced to pushed away cos you are left with no choice?
You have to act as if everything's alright when it is actually the opposite?
And act as if your heart is cured when the fact that it is has been cut by a dagger?
Seeing your love ones happy when the fact that your not happy yourself?
Wanting to reach for something/someone but it is out of reach?
Wanting to be w someone but there's always something in between?
And not being able to express your feelings to that particularly someone cos you think it's not worth it and everytime when you tried to speak to him, it feels like there's thousands of needles in your throat?
And having insomnia and depression when night comes..
Hoping to wake up w/o having to feel the pain but it is always there.

Mum is killing me .
Syimir is killing me .
I'm killing myself .

2011-05-31T05:22:00.000-07:00

Me and Syimir will NEVER be together again .
Im trying my best to hurt him so he'll hate and forget me . There's a reason for everything ok so you ppl should stop judging me .
I was smart enough not to accept him back yesterday cause if not, I will be effing hurt by what has happened today .
I HATE EVERYTHING .
I HATE MYSELF .
I DON'T KNOW WHAT EXACTLY I WANT ACTUALLY.
I LOVE HIM BUT THIS IS THE BEST WAY .

I WANNA CRY I WANNA CRY .
I'M SO HURT BUT IT'S OK . I WANT THE BEST FOR HIM SO I SHALL HIDE EVERYTHING INSIDE. IM STRONG . I HOPE .

2011-05-30T01:55:00.000-07:00

I feel so weak . The song makes me cry . His picture makes me die . i feel like i could fly .
I frigging need to fall in someone's arm and have a long rest .
I wish one day, when im walking, i would faint in a random guy's arms .
hais .

2011-05-29T23:48:00.001-07:00

IM SO FUCKING HAPPY.
I'VE COMPOSED A SONG ON MY PIANO BASED ON WHAT HE SUNG FOR ME .
WOHOE~
THAT MELODY WILL ENGULF ME EVENTHOUGH HE'S NOT AROUND ANYMORE.

2011-05-29T19:10:00.000-07:00

I feel like breaking down. Again.
Had a hard time sleeping yesterday.
Crying here and there. Keep tossing around. Sit on the bed staring into empty spaces in the dark.
Covered my mouth w pillow so no one could hear my agony .

SHE has done her part by confessing to me but me , i act as if im happy. I never said what was in my heart . I shall keep it to myself .
Yeah . I'm gonna be happy . For my friend . (:
She was right . It is difficult . To move on .
And, i saw what shawn told me before . he said "fight back what belongs to you just take back that what u loss jiayuos loves: Shawnny!"

I keep staring and staring at those words .
And i'm like .... _ _ _ _ _ _ .

I'll be ok .
God Is GREAT . GOd Is FAIR .

Bye ~!
adios amigos~

2011-05-29T04:47:00.000-07:00

FUCK . IM GROUNDED FOR THE WHOLE MONTH OF JUNE HOLIDAY . LIKE I EVEN CARE SIOLXZ -_-
I won't even die not getting to go out. LOSER .

2011-05-29T04:21:00.001-07:00

I. Miss. Syimir.
Like i could just die . hais .

2011-05-29T04:21:00.000-07:00

I. Miss. Syimir.
Like i could just die . hais .

2011-05-28T18:46:00.001-07:00

I dreamt of Syazwan . Again . HAIS .

2011-05-27T22:09:00.001-07:00

I'm elated.
A bit .
Get my new piano already .
wee .

2011-05-27T18:58:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to have Syazwan marathon. Again.
What do i mean by that ? it means i keep dreaming of him when im asleep.
Idk why he is the most and easiest guy to be in my dreams.
I dreamt of him just now. Yesterday too. Macam cool gitu. Continuously.
Hais.

I miss him. Wish things never turn out to be this way.:(

2011-05-27T09:05:00.000-07:00

Dear God,
I know you can hear me.
There's only one thing i wanna asked from you right now.
Please, cool HIM down. Make him think rationally.
Please push aside his and mine ego.
Cos all i want is to be in good terms. W him.
Please grant my wish.
You're my only hope. *fingers crossed*

2011-05-26T04:15:00.001-07:00

Im currently feeling so depressed at home.
Parents are quarelling. later im gg out for tahlil arwah 100 hari aft he went on.
Feel so sad. Tak habis2 nak gaduh.
My day is so egoistic. Gosh. Mum too.
Can't stand it no more.
I want so much to burst into tears but im having my eyeliner on so that helps.
You're a strong girl Lyana Nasuha.

Sat in the park.
Had a talk w Imir.
He was like my counsellor .
Giving me great advices .
Yes, i will head what you say.
I will do it.
I'm strong.
I have confidence.
Fuck yeah .

I will TRY.
But, IF i fail, it's a too bad for me.
One last chance left .
If he refuses , i'll stay away .

YOU'RE STRONG LYANA. I LOVE YOU .

2011-05-25T06:56:00.000-07:00

It's like he doesn't hear a word I say,
His mind is somewhere far away,
And I don't know how to get there,
It's like,
(She's way too serious)
All he wants is to chill out,
(She's always in a rush)
He makes me wanna pull all my hair out,
(And interrupting)
Like he doesn't even care,
(Like she doesn't even care)

You,
me
We're face to face
But we don't see eye to eye
Like fire and rain
(Like fire and rain)
You can drive me insane
(You can drive me insane)

But I can't stay mad at you for anything
We're Venus and Mars
(We're Venus and Mars)
We're like different stars
(Like different stars)
But you're the harmony to every song I sing
And I wouldn't change a thing

She's always trying to save the day
Just wanna let my music play
She's all or nothing
But my feelings never change
(Why, do you try to read my mind?)
I try to read her mind
(It's not good to psychoanalyze)
She tries to pick a fight
To get attention
That's what all of my friends say
(That's what all of my friends say)

You,
Me
We're face to face
But we don't see eye to eye
Like fire and rain
(Like fire and rain)
You can drive me insane
(You can drive me insane)

http://www.elyricsworld.com/wouldn't_change_a_thing_lyrics_demi_lovato.html
But I can't stay mad at you for anything
We're Venus and Mars
(We're Venus and Mars)
We're like different stars
(Like different stars)
But you're the harmony to every song I sing
And I wouldn't change a thing

When I'm yes, she's no
When I hold on, he just lets go

We're perfectly imperfect
But I wouldn't change a thing, no
We're like fire and rain
(Like fire and rain)
You can drive me insane
(You can drive me insane)

But I can't stay mad at you for anything
We're Venus and Mars
(We're Venus and Mars)
We're like different stars
(Like different stars)
But you're the harmony to every song I sing
And I wouldn't change a thing

But I can't stay mad at you for anything
We're Venus and Mars
(We're Venus and Mars)
We're like different stars
(Like different stars)
But you're the harmony to every song I sing
And I wouldn't change a
Wouldn't change a thing

EVERYTHING WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN

2011-05-24T20:17:00.000-07:00

Hey there.
I'm in school currently.
Something happened today.\Fought w that Syazwan Rosli.
Like sumpah,
he's a LOSER.
Wish i could say it right through his face.
He is a GUY.
He saw me and shouted BUTO at me!

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!
I WAS LIKE 'ARE YOU FOR REAL ?'

I pity him though.
So handsome yet perangai... tsk.tsk.tsk.

Anyway, aku tak hiraukan lah lelaki dayus macam kau.\
Pengecut.

And, why must you be angry at me siolxz just because of that post?\
Don't blame me lor.
You're the reason what. Semua salah aku pe dgr2 ?!

LAMESHIT SIOOOOOL.

2011-05-23T03:36:00.000-07:00

You're so hypnotizing, could you be a devil could you be an angel?

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BUT I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO PROVE IT SO BEING APART FROM YOU I GUESS IS THE BEST WAY.

2011-05-17T16:02:00.000-07:00

HI, YESTERDAY, 16 MAY 2011,
I went out to vivo.
One word : HEHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :D

It's definitely a day to REMEMEBER.

<3 yang sempurnakanku.

2011-05-15T03:42:00.000-07:00

So i went to madrasah just now and i met my baby lovelies, Farah, syuhada and Sofea.
So, i shared my problem w this love triangle to them.
Guess what? they have the same situation as me and the whole time we talk about guys.
Like seriously they are the most awesome people ive ever met in my life and that's why i love sharing EVERYTHING to them.
They are one of the friends that is always behind my back.
But serious shit funny uh.
Omg FARAH! I know he's hot.
Imma tell Faiz.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

Anw, tmr is Maths exam.
I can't wait to drown in my probs and see arinah!
wehowehoheeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~

2011-05-14T16:32:00.000-07:00

It's weird how a boy and girl can be really close friends and finally, fall in love.
Weird. it's just weird.

2011-05-13T20:53:00.000-07:00

A few seconds ago, someone asked me to go prom w him
but i told him i didnt wanna go to prom!
OH FUCK FUCK FUCK!
WHY DID I TURN HIM DOWN!
I TURNED DOWN MY DATE !
FUCKITY FUCK FUCK!!!!!!

heheo.
Anw, that guy ISNT syimir though.
heheheheheheheehehhe.
But that guy is someone special in my life though.

OMG HOW STUPID CAN I BE?!!!!!!!!

2011-05-12T05:41:00.000-07:00

I don;t know why but everyday i've been dreaming of that guy .
He is so close yet so far.

I fucking miss him but i dont what to do.
im going insane.

2011-05-12T04:56:00.000-07:00

Hi.
Tomorrow's geog but here i am blogging.
OMG.
Just now was maths and FnN.
FUCK MATHS .
THE number pattern was difficult and stupid probability.
HOW CAN?!!!!!!!

Anw,
i miss someone. badly. real much.

2011-05-08T21:46:00.000-07:00

9TH MAY 2011

It's Muhd Syimir bin Sulaiman's birthday today.
HE DOESN'T KNOW THAT I'M GONNA SUPRISE HIM.
So, woke up early in the morning.
Previous night, i went out to buy 3 different flavoured cakes for mimir.
So today, met Arinah at 11am.
Went to shop w her and bought the birthday spray2 thingy?
yeah.
Aft that, we went to ntuc and i bought for imir chocolate waffles. HEH(:

Aft which, i proceed to the canal.
Lay out the cakes there and Arinah went to hide behind the bushes.
I waited for mimir at the bbq pit and told him to come down because i'm sad that i've been "halau" from rumah.
LOLOLOLOLOL.
So he went down.
I told him that i kena halau but then i started laughing and he was also smiling because he knows i'm just kidding.
So, went down to canal and.....
SUPRISE!
Me and Arinah sprayed the thingy at Syimir and he was like ... OMG... Dirty all over.
Then suprised him w the cake!
Lit up 3 candles for him , sang birthday song and he make wishes which is " Me and him will last long forever and there will be a good future for everyone of us" Then he blew the candles.

OMG, IM SO TOUCHED I WANNA CRY. LOL.
Then he hughug kishkish me.
HEHOHEHOHEOHEO.
Slack2 w him and arinah until 12am.
He told me he was so happy and fuh! mission accomplished.

Honestly, i've never been this sweet before.
I'm so awesome.
First time i did this for a guy.
LOLipop.

Aft which, send him home.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SAYANG (:*

2011-04-28T05:02:00.001-07:00

OMG,
Malay oral tomorrow.
Hope I'm gonna do well.
Fingers crossed.

2011-04-25T04:27:00.000-07:00

Today, i went no Nanyang Poly website.
I check out my all time fav course! Dental ! (:
I see their video. OMG, makes me wanna go NYAP cepat2 seh.
So cool!
I want to be a good dentist, make my own clinic and be rich $$$$$$$$$$$$ . KACHINGS $$$$
Hehohohe.
But first, I have to go through a big barrier = N level.
SHARKS.

2011-04-24T05:13:00.000-07:00

Hi.
It's been like forever isn't it?
Omg!
Today, I went for madrasah.
Something happened.
Lemme tell you.

The whole class was playing games somehow like musical chair and the one who doesn't get the seat will have to answer questions based on prophet s.a.w So, ustazah asked everyone to seat and everyone already get their seats and me and Firman were the only ones left and there's a single seat left. So, both of us rushed for that seat. Eventually, firman sat on it first and i fatty fall on top of him with my hands on his chest. OMG!
How obscene and paiseh is that?! and ustazah was like "eh! eh! eh!"
And firman was laughing.
haha.

Told Syimir about it and he was so maddddddddd. As usual~

Now, i'm so interested in tagged instead of Fb.
But, alot of guys minta kenal2 like whatever gitukan.
And, I received a msg there from.... MUHD SYIMIR BIN SULAIMAN.
I was friggin mad cause he tak pernah ada tagged and he create! (confirm ada pape kan)
Den i was so mad i didnt wanna talk to him.
He told me his niat was buruk.
He wanted to stalk me actually.
-_-

SSSSSSSSiol ahhhhhhhh.

2011-03-23T03:58:00.000-07:00

The moment im writing this, I'm about to cry.
I think I just have to. Let out my inner feelings.
I bet nobody's gonna read not even him but it's okay because at least, i tried letting everything out.
Life has been miserable lately.
I laughed all day long. Living life w full of pretendance.
All night staring into the empty darkness with insomnia everyday thinking what will there be for tomorrow?
Mind filled with negativity which always turns out right. I can't help it.

Trust.
Is a big word.
Easy said then done.
I know it's hard to stay faithful after being in a long term relationship.
I know. I know how it feels like.
It feels like you wanna get to meet other people but you're being owned.
But at least i tried to be faithful.
As much as i want to be w others, i just can't cause i know in my heart that you are the only one. For me.
At least i tried. :(
But you?

2011-03-22T05:59:00.000-07:00

IM SO AWESOME FATS!

2011-03-16T06:32:00.000-07:00

I don't if i should hold on or just let 'it' go.
I feel so confused.
i feel everything is not worth it.
There's so many things i wanna let out but i when im infront of you,
i can't say a thing.
Someday i hope, i will find _____ soon.

This sucks. like a lot.
I don't feel the same way. hais.
I wanted to rewind back but i don't have the power to do that.
Why do i always keep pretending?
Till when LYANA NASUHA ?
Don't do this to yourself.

2011-03-16T06:26:00.000-07:00

HEY FATS!
LIKE SERIOUSLY, I CAN DIE OUT OF BOREDOM.
EVERYDAY LIFE. SUCKS LIKE FAT!
I WISH I HAVE ALOT OF FRIENDS. I MEAN, AWESOME FRIENDS AND OUT GOING PEOPLE.
NVM, WAIT TILL POLY.
FAT YEAH ^^

2011-03-15T04:25:00.000-07:00

You are someone so special.
Your the voice who sings inside my head and the reason why im singing.
I want to be with you.
When HE left me, my love was gone.
Total gone. Seriously.
And i fall for you unexpectedly.
YOU.
I tried to forget you but it seems hard.
I want to be w you.
YOU. YES YOU. :(

2011-03-14T05:22:00.000-07:00

EH HI GEMOK!
AMACIAMMMMM ? MACAM PAHAMMMMM . OKAY CAN!

So yeah, i'M BACK.

Went out just now w boyfriend, zahir and Ahmad.
Went woodlands together forever.
Syimir is sweet and crazy ??
Okay.
And fat ! He accidentally drop a book on my leg and now, it is bleeding.
Thanks to him -_-
Like seriously,
wo bi jiao go out w guyfriends than girl friends.
(: (:

Anw, i had a great time so fat yeah!

2011-02-26T23:01:00.000-08:00

Hey.

This post is for my dearest Muhd Syimir Bin Sulaiman.

Hey sayang ! LOOK ! It's NAFNAF (:

Our daughter! your favourite.

hehe(:

Eh, i miss you dear. I can't wait to meet you tomorrow honeyflakes.

So, I shall see you another 16 more hours ok ? Okay best. ^^

I love you.

xoxo,

Lyana

2011-02-26T22:04:00.000-08:00

2011-02-26T07:25:00.000-08:00

This show. I'M DESPERATE TO SEE THIS MOVIE.

2011-02-26T06:51:00.000-08:00

Hey.

I went to grandma's house just now at geylang.

I loike.

You loike?

Anw, Monday got physics common test and I'm afraid I will fail.

But anw, I will give my all to it and I will fight for it until my heart stops beating.

2011-02-25T20:01:00.000-08:00

Behind every smile, there's sorrows hidden.

But it takes someone special to notice it.

2011-02-23T05:31:00.000-08:00

COmmon TEst is tomorrow!
Oh god.
This is real scary.
SS and Eng somemore!
Damn.
I will give my all to it and hope I will score w good marks.Oh ya, got Maths test just now.
Super easy sia. Takleh senang lagi pe?
I think i can get full marks ^^

Mr. Syazwan has been telling me that he's upset because I didn't entertain him in FnN and in class. -_-

BUANG tebiat. He's the one who doesn't talk to me.
So, had made a deal w him.
Hahaha. A deal is a deal. FUCKYEAH!

2011-02-22T03:58:00.000-08:00

Yeay ! I'm finally back w Muhd Syimir Bin Sulaiman yesterday.
I am the happiest girl ever after getting my precious back in my arms. ^^*
I'm for you and you're for me, sayang. We are the perfect two. <3

Oh yeaa.
Just now went to piano class.
My exam songs I choose all the romantic ones..
Heh (:
I loike! you loike ?^^
Was having menses as always and my dear teacher made me this flower tea.
The smell is good but there is no taste cause no sugar and i ate the small flowers.
EEEEEEE.
heh(:

Reached home at 630pm?
Then sayang texted me.
He wanted to meet me cause he said there is something for me.
So, met him and he gave me 2 bars of crunchies.
yeay ! My all time favourite.
Oh yes, he's sweet and he made my day.
I LOVE MUHD SYIMIR.
I'm so devoted to him.

2011-02-20T02:29:00.000-08:00

Today.

Went to madrasah.
I love SOFEA AND SUHAIDAH.
Story telling and i cried.
Sadly, Farah didnt came.
Fuck. I need her.
Oh yeah,
I was disturb every second of my life by firman.
HAHAHAHAH.
And yeah. guys in my class are funny so they cheered me up.
Played game about 5 pillars of Islam.
Hahaa, mcm bukan game lagi.
Dah mcm membantah membantah.
AWESOME.
Ansari was like Ustaz as usual.
I almost fainted when he starts speaking with his cheem malay words.
HE IS AWESOMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. ^^
Went home time.
And still, firman saw me and he smiled and he disturb me. AGAIN.
I can die siaaaaaaaa.

OMG.
I feel like fainting sia diff guys keep flirting w me .
Seriously.
Wth.
MALAS SIA NAK LAYAN.
-_-

2011-02-20T00:58:00.000-08:00

ohmygoooooooooooooddddddddddddddddd.
I'm nervous right now.
There's this guy. I KNOW HE IS INTERESTED IN ME.
WTFFFFFFF. I'M SCARED SIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Can somebody like take me away from him?

2011-02-19T03:15:00.001-08:00

OMG.
My life is so weird.
I'm single and suddenly it is like soooooo many guys talk to me.
SUPER WEIRD GILA.
But I'm sooooo malas nak entertain.
Now, there's this guy who is chatting w me.
He asked to exchange no. w him -_- \
Of course my answer was a big NO.
And now he is finding excuses cause he wants my number so much.
BLUEK ! NO WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
and now he wants to step merajuk w me. sial ah. I don't know wether i should puke or what.

MY HEART BELONGS TO MUHD SYIMIR BIN SULAIMAN ONLY.

2011-02-18T04:53:00.000-08:00

I miss YOU.
It's like been forever.
I don't know how to handle this.
I need you.
I can't stop crying.
I'm going to be love sick soon.
I want to talk to you but you are not mine anymore.
It will be awkward talking to you.
WHY ?

2011-02-18T04:15:00.000-08:00

Kadang kala, kita tak dapat semua yang kita nak.
Tapi, itu tidak berert riwayat kita habis di saat itu juga.
Mungkin, ada yang terselindung di sebalik pelangi.
Jadi, senyumlah.

2011-02-18T02:54:00.000-08:00

As i'm typing this. I'm crying.
Because of YOU, Muhd Syimir bin Sulaiman.
18 February 2011, 4.30pm .
You asked for a break up. Because of your mum.

Like I say, you are selfish. You hurt me. Today. Why today ?
Why not dari dalu lagi? Dah banyak kali benda mcm gini jadi but why tak minta break dulu?
Why you did this to me when i had loved you SO much. WHY?
I don't get it.
Omg, i can't continue right now.
You hurt me too much.

2011-02-08T06:35:00.001-08:00

I'm SO HAPPY.
My E-maths test. I FREAKING PASS AND I GET HIGHER THAN THAT SOMEONE.
HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHA.
Nak lawan aku eh? tak dapat uh. *flips hair*
That was like the most diff topic but me, didn't really study but i freaking pass and i even beat wangzhen.
YEAY!
I'm proud of myself.
MS YEO! SEE, W/O YOU I'M AWESOME^^
MS YEO, FIRST TIME YOU KNOW FIRST TEST I PASS.
(;

Omg, should i ignore him or not?
Is what he says is true? Does it really work? *confused*

2011-02-07T03:49:00.000-08:00

Where do I start?
ok.

Dwi Kurnia Indah, thanks for the hug just now. I felt alot better. (:

Oh yes,
There's this girl who loves finding fault w me which i don't know why. I know you know who you are.
Syazwan is just a friend and i'm not flirting w him.
I'm just talking otp w him. Where's the proof that i flirt w him? TALKING and FLIRTING is different.
If i did love him more than a friend, I would have dumped syimir a long time ago but i DIDN'T.
If i flirt w him, i would have put my hands all around him and talk to him oh so mushy.
Ask him. Did I? I DIDN'T cause I have the limit to everything that I do. Cause I LOVE MUHD SYIMIR ONLY.
You went telling others that I broke up w Syimir. Where's the proof? Don't anyhow assume things that you don't know ok?
Cause I DIDN'T.
I know you people wants me and him to be apart. hahah, NO.
We will be apart only when god takes one of our lives away.
You want me to be apart so that i will go to you guys ? haha.
How can I ever survive if you people aren't even good friends? Or should I even call you friends?
Only 1-2 people je yang perangai baik but yang lain? No hope.

Define friends.
To you, friends are just to sit around and keep laughing with all the time but in bad times, heck care. right? hahaha.
Think. When i was in need, have you guys EVER been there?
All i know Syimir is always there for me. Only him and now you are hoping that me and him will be apart? Totally impossible.
So, takmu mengharap.

People has been asking me to take revenge on you but i told them that is not my way.
I don't care how much you hurt me eventhough the pain cuts like a dagger because i always believe in this. "People hurt you but that isn't an excuse to hurt them back."
And i don't wanna get sins just because of revenge. It's not worth it. Biarlah kau seorang yang dapat but me, hell no. Dosa tanggung sendiri. (:
I go religious class and learn alot about Islam.
Sabar adalah satu daripada iman and that's what I'm doing now.
I don't care if you hate me as long as god doesn't hate me. That's way important more than you.

I accept w sincere this test that god has put for me cause i know he is testing me if i have iman or not.
I know that.
After solat, I just doa to hope that hopefully, hati kau akan lembut.
Or should I recite Yasin for you?
My ustazah says that if you want to lembutkan hati seseorang, sedekah kan yasin kepadanya.
I think i should do it for you. (: